WHAT TO SAY AND HOW TO SAY IT A昀漀nity bias – The a昀漀nity bias causes people to gravitate toward others who appear to be like them. This means we have a preference for those we are most like or who are most like us, and can be less understanding of or fair toward those who are di昀昀erent. This could surface in how you regard people on your team, or you may notice it in how they treat one another 8 and the kind of criticism or encouragement they receive. These are just some of the cognitive biases that might come up during conversations. (A more detailed list can be found here, if you wish to explore the topic further.) To counterbalance the biases we all experience, managers should focus on being mindful. Before you act, take a moment between receiving information and responding. Assuming positive intent can be a good starting point. After making decisions, take time to re昀氀ect on what worked or did not work and why. A little thoughtfulness and applied empathy can go a long way in helping to avoid bias. Understanding memory Human memory is another faulty system. Studies of eyewitness accounts, for example, show that people tend to remember the same events in wildly di昀昀erent ways. Our brains are designed to forget things that we don’t identify as important, and emotions can cloud our recollection — at the time and later. If we try, we’re often able to recall traces of the memory, but not the details. This means our memories can’t always be trusted. When we provide criticism or re昀氀ection— especially if a lot of time has elapsed, we are often reacting to the emotion of the memory rather than accurately recalling details. This is one reason it is important to have conversations frequently and document them. Doing these things in real time allows us to be speci昀椀c about behavior, skill, and knowledge. People show up performing every day. If the behavior is not addressed early on and is reinforced through lack of attention, it becomes more di昀漀cult to adjust and creates demotivation. No one wants to go into an annual performance review thinking they’ve been doing well all year, only to 昀椀nd out they have not. When evaluating, coaching, providing feedback, or recognizing your employees, frequency matters. Real-time conversations matter. THE MANAGER’S ULTIMATE GUIDE TO GREAT CONVERSATIONS 19